So my first year of college is almost over and I feel like it could've gone a lot better. I've never really been a slacker and overall I've managed to get decent grades but this year I just feel as if I could have coped a lot better with everything. Before Christmas I was stuck in a really stupid cycle where I was skipping lessons because of work I hadn't done which led to me falling more behind and becoming even more afraid to turn up for lessons. Eventually, I stopped doing this and knuckled down on my attendance. I've been doing my best to work harder and my exams are frighteningly close now. It's just...the more pressure there is the more I find myself freezing up about things, I don't know, I just want it all to be over.

I want to do well but I feel like something is just not clicking with me at the moment and it's really hard to focus on revising for written exams like English lit and history when I've been really caught up with art and photography which are incredibly time consuming. I think what has really thrown my off is having one of my English teachers suddenly leave after Christmas, the replacement teacher just doesn't seem to really be...well...teaching us. Lets not forget how both of my history teachers seem to cancel 50% of our classes either...I guess it's just down to me being independent and not relying on my teachers if I want to get through this.

Anyway my photography exam is out of the way now and I have my art exam this week so hopefully all will go well and at least those two very demanding subjects will be out of the way.